Dave Allen on Phones - Birchills Blog
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Dave Allen On Phones

Dave Allen  (6 July 1936 – 10 March 2005) was a brilliant and irreverent comic.  He made compelling viewing.

These are a few of his jokes.

"I'm an atheist . . . thank God."

"Are you the Irish comedian with half a finger?" "No, I'm the Irish comedian with nine and a half fingers!"

"Good evening. Now, a lot of people ask me why is it that, as I sit here, I am frequently seen brushing my trouser leg. And the answer is, because I drink my whiskey diluted . . . with vodka. And in the course of the evening I see the little fellows climbing up my trouser leg and what I'm doing is brushing them off.

And, uh, I went to a psychiatrist about it, and I said: 'I have to keep brushing the little fellows off.' And he said: 'Well, there's three things I want you to do. One is relax more, the second thing is to cut down on your drinking, and the third thing is to stop brushing the little perishers all over me.' "
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